


Offerings

by Lady_L



Series: Always and Forever [2]
Category: Thor (2011)
Genre: Blatant abuse of the words 'pretty' and 'green', F/M, Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-02-02
Updated: 2012-03-27
Packaged: 2017-10-30 12:06:15
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,460
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/331576
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lady_L/pseuds/Lady_L
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Part the second of my quest to de-angstify the Loki fandom. (The Thor fandom is a by-product cooked up by male Midgardians with no aesthetic appreciation of Hiddlestonian splendour.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Freya marched into the throne room, seething. Passing courtiers and servants took one look at the icy composure on her face and swiftly recalled business they had to attend to on the other side of the palace.

“Odin Tvíblindi!” The occupants of the throne room scattered, leaving only Odin to wince and wonder what he had done to merit the hated appellation of ‘Twice-blind’. Surely a birthday or anniversary hadn’t passed in the last week or so? Had he complimented Freya’s gown this morning? Oh, no, what if it was a new design and he hadn’t realised?

"Tell me, husband, of what use is this All-Seeing Eye the mortals prattle on about?"

Oh, damn. It had to be the dress. Or perhaps jewellery - was that necklace a new one? Odin racked his brains, trying to recall if he had seen it before.

"Freya, my flower, light of my eternal li-"

"Be quiet, you old fool."

"Yes, dear."

"Why is it, my dear husband, that my supposedly all-seeing spouse neglected to mention, or perhaps even notice, that some vandal or child molester was sneaking into the nursery to deposit trash on our youngest son's cradle?!" Freya's voice rose to a shout by the end of the sentence, while Odin seemed to shrink a corresponding amount in his seat. 

"Well, dear, there's actually a rather funny story about that -"

"Funny. You find this potential threat to our son amusing?" 

Quickly deciding that he would not get enough time to build up to the good part, Odin threw out a hurried "Thor did it!"

One of Freya's elegant eyebrows lifted. "Really, Odin, blaming a five-year-old is a new low, even for you."

"No, really. Ask Heimdall, he saw them too." As the other eyebrow began its journey skywards, Odin swiftly began to explain, the words tumbling out in his haste. 

"It began when we noticed the children just sitting around Loki's cradle and watching him sleep. It was a trifle unnerving, actually . . . "

~*~

Thor and his friends had gathered around Loki's cradle early that morning, eagerly awaiting the baby's waking. Now that they had a baby, they could play with him all day! The baby would do cute things to entertain them, like - like clap and gaze at them as though they were the greatest warriors in the land. Loki wold dance around after them and let them dress him in adorable outfits that made him look even prettier. Loki would - he _would_  like them and want to play with them, wouldn't he?

When Volstagg expressed this doubt, the others also looked worried. Suddenly Sif brightened and spoke up. "We should give him presents to make him like us!"

"Oh? Are you sure that will work?" Fandral felt a slight pang at the thought that they would have to buy their new Loki's affection, conveniently forgetting that he had been initially quite cheaply bought by an offer from Thor and Sif to share their sweets.

"Yes, I've heard my brother talking to his friends about it. He says that it is the easiest way to make a maiden warm towards you at first. But only at first, though, because if you do it too long, the maiden takes both the gifts and your dignity."

The others pondered this. "I didn't think Heimdall worried about that sort of thing," pondered Thor.

"I know," nodded Sif. "Who would have thought Heimdall had any dignity to be taken?" The others made noises of agreement. Who would have thought?

~*~

"So what would make a good present for my baby? Something that will make him do cute things for us?" Thor and his friends were still working on the knotty problem of how to bribe Loki into playing with them.

"Green!" offered Hogun. The others shared looks. This little issue of Hogun's had been going on for a bit too long be amusing any longer. 

"Yes, Hogun," said Thor, speaking slowly and clearly. "My baby's eyes are green. Thank you for noticing."

Hogun cast a disgruntled glance at Thor. "Shut up, Thor. What I _meant_  was that we should give him something green. It will look pretty on him. Maidens like pretty things. I've heard Heimdall say so." For quite some time now, Heimdall had been their unwitting model of how things took place in the adult world. He wasn't quite as dull as a mere _parent_.

"Is Loki a maiden, though? He needs to be one for this to work, doesn't he?" wondered Volstagg. They considered this.

Fandral spoke slowly. "We-ell, he's very pretty. Maidens are the pretty ones. The ugly ones are dried up prunes. I've heard Heimdall say so." The children shared nods. If Heimdall said so, it must be true.

"Right," announced Thor. "We shall find pretty green things, so that we can make Loki happy enough to be cute for us, then we shall meet here and give them to him in half an hour. Agreed?"

"Yes, Thor." "Fine." "Can't we stop for a snack, though?" Grunt.

Thor pouted. "You're supposed to all say, 'Agreed, my Lord'."

"Shut up, Thor. Let's go look for green-Loki-presents."

~*~

Over the course of the day, bits of leaves, ribbon and silk scarves found their way into Loki's cradle. Odin and Heimdall watched with interest, while Odin made fun of Heimdall thinking he had any dignity to begin with.

~*~

“Loki, I shall give you your present if you do something cute for me,” announced Thor.

The baby sleepily opened his eyes, unconsciously searching for the noise that woke him. _Again_.

Sif and the boys broke into applause.

“Well done, Loki! You are indeed adorable – here is your present.” Thor and Hogun gently placed the bright strands of grass around his baby’s pillow. They were quite a lovely green and set Loki’s eyes off very nicely. The children stared down at the baby. Loki stared back.  
Much staring took place.  
Loki blinked. Contentedly releasing a small burp, he went back to sleep.


	2. Chapter the Second

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As is generally prudent when reading a multi-chaptered work, this chapter would probably make a lot more sense if you read the one preceding it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please note that I have taken Norse mythology to be more of a guideline than a rule.

". . . And so you see, Freya, most dazzling light of Asgard, it really was quite a funny story and it was _definitely_  Thor's fault, which means, o glorious starburst of the universe, that I, your most loving and devoted husband, the most loving and devoted father to our sons, am not to blame for anything that may-"

"Be quiet, Odin."

"Yes, dear."

"So it is merely the children attempting to indoctrinate my baby with ideas that they have picked up from Heimdall?"

"Yes, dear. Perfectly harmless fun."

"You and Heimdall grew up together, did you not? Developed your twitchy little personalities together in your very, _very_  distant youth?"

"Yes, dear."

"Then, technically, it is also your ideas that are being used to brainwash my baby into someone as foolishly susceptible to flattery and bribery as his father?"

"Yes, dear."

Silence descended on the room, rather like a particularly invasive fog.

Odin thought back on his words, trying to find a reason for the sparks flying from the tips of his beloved wife's fingers. He blanched.

"NO! That is, my dear, I would never presume to disagree with you, but surely Heimdall could have formulated those ideas-"

"Be quiet, Odin."

"Yes, dear." 

"You will ensure that everything the children decide to 'bribe' Loki with is magically disinfected before it comes within twenty feet of him."

"Yes, de - I, er, what? That is, that's all? No, erm, little tantrums or yelling at me about how irresponsible I am or how stupi-? Yes, dear. Shutting up now, dear."

The chill that pervaded the room was glacial - no, it was positively Jotunheim-al. Literally. Odin could feel his blood moving more sluggishly at his extremities.

"My darling, Freya, my most adored-"

Even after several millenia, the poor fellow never learned. 

 

~

 

After his friends had left for their afternoon naps - read 'dragged away wailing by their respective nannies' - Thor threw a very furious and very silent tantrum to be allowed to stay with Loki, with his nanny finally giving in with a mutter that sounded suspiciously like "It's not as if one of them royal cradles ain't big enough to put the whole pack of 'em in there wi'out waking up the little mite". 

Pleased at his success and aristocratically unconcerned with the mutterings of the domestics, Thor carefully climbed into Loki's cradle and gently cuddled his baby, kissing the soft cheek nearest to him. Unaware of his nanny keeping a sharp eye on the proceedings to ensure that Thor didn't accidentally crush the baby, he carefully wrapped his old quilt around both of them as best as he could and lay down, staring at his baby all the while. Soon after, he drifted off, dreaming of bright green eyes shining at him adoringly as he twirled a pretty, chubby little person in his arms. 


End file.
